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Teens

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From MR

From KB Aged 15

LIVING IN A REFUGE

A refuge is a safe house where women and children can come to live for a while when things have been bad at home. There are Refuges all over Scotland so that women and children can get away from violence and trouble. The Refuge you would go to is probably an ordinary house, but more than one family lives in it at a time. You'll have a bedroom with the rest of your family, and share the living room, kitchen and bathroom with the other families.

You go to school from the Refuge and can come and go as you would at home. Your mum will still look after you, cook for your family and so on.

The Women's Aid workers come in now and then and if you need to know anything or if something is bothering you, they might be able to help. Workers are not there to lay down the law, though they do try to keep the Refuge running smoothly for everyone in it. They are there to help and to become friends.

Living in a house with people you don't know and kids of all ages running around may seem pretty crazy, but everyone in the Refuge is in the same boat, and it is great when everyone mucks in and helps each other.

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Sometimes the place or the people in it will get on your nerves. When this happens, it can help to go out for a while, even if it's just for a walk or to see a friend. Otherwise, you could go to your family's bedroom and try to be on your own for a while. Everyone needs a bit of peace sometimes, and the younger kids can be pretty high in the Refuge, especially when they first come in. Try to remember that they're feeling pretty mixed up too, and be as patient as you can with them. The Refuge works best when everyone is trying to make the best of things.

If you have any ideas or suggestions that might be useful, let everyone know; and if you can help by showing a new family around, moving furniture or taking younger kids out for instance, you'll find that sometimes giving help helps you to feel better.

Also, if things seem awful at times, remember that your stay in the Refuge is not for keeps -you will be moving on and then you can come back to visit us at the Drop In Centre if you want -you might find that you miss the place for a while even if you can't wait to leave!

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When you first come in, everything you've known will seem to be lost. You may miss your Dad, your home, your mates or the road you lived in; Don't assume that it's all gone for good; things will get better, you'll get used to the changes and start enjoying yourself again.

You may feel annoyed at your Mum, but remember, but she won't have left your Dad, home and everything else easily, and she must be feeling pretty bad about things too.

You and your Mum may not have the same feelings about what's happened. That's O.K. - there's no rule that says you have to feel the same, but it helps if you can try to see things from her point of view, and if she can do the same for you. It might help to sit down and talk about it, or if that's not possible ask a worker to help out.

Sometimes it helps to have someone who's not involved to talk to, and remember, everything may seem upside down at the moment, but things will get sorted out.

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